Joke of the day

[Don]

 A Yankee lawyer went duck hunting in eastern North Carolina. He shot and
 dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a
 fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked
him
 what he was doing. The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in
this
 field, I'm going into retrieve it."
 The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over
 here."
 The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the
U.S.
 and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything!
 The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do
things
 here in North Carolina. We settle small disagreements like this with the
NC
 Three-Kick Rule."
 The lawyer asked, "What is the NC three-Kick Rule?"
 The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick
me
 three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."
 The Yankee attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided
 that he could easily take the old southerner. He agreed to abide by the
 local custom.
 The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
 city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into
the
 Yankee lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly
 wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly
when
 the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
 The Yankee lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his
 feet and said, "Okay, you old redneck southerner, now it's my turn."
 The old North Carolina farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can
have
 the duck."

[Cool_Dude]

LOL LOL LOL.....very good one.. you make my day man..great......... keep on posting THAT TYPE OF STUFF. 

[Don]

Things I Hate About Everyone


1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?