Computer customer/tech support staff funnies

[Cool_Dude]

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?

Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?

Customer: Yeah....

Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?

Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....

Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one...

Customer: I can't get my diskette out.

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah...................thank you.

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there

another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work

Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a

capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?





Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

And last but not least:....

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

[Gagan143]

LOL...very Funny dear....in most of part of the conversasation  I feel like the Customer care is talking with me...LOL....anyone else have same type of stuff?? Please share..thank you

[Cool_Dude]

here is some facts with funny answers I think you like it gagan.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.






 
(Hardly seems worth it.)






 
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.






 
(Now that's more like it!)






 
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.






 
(O.M.G.!)






 

AA pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.







 
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)






 
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)






 
(I'm still not over the pig.)






 
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour






 
(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)






 
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.






 
("Honey, I'm home. What the...?!")






 
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.






 
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)






 
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.






 

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)







 
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.






 
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)






 
Butterflies taste with their feet.






 
(Something I always wanted to know.)






 
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.






 
(Hmmmmmm......)






 
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.






 
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)






 
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.






 
(okay, so that would be a good thing)






 
A cat's urine glows under a black light.






 
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)






 
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.






 

(I know some people like that.)







 
Starfish have no brains






 
(I know some people like that too.)






 
Polar bears are left-handed.






 
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)






 
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.






 

(What about that pig??)

[Gagan143]

LOL..another great one and , Surely I would like to be a PIG too...Lion is also not bad.