Joke of the century

[Cool_Dude]

Mr. Singh Jr. in school


 The teacher asked,"Singh Jr. what is your problem ?"

Singh Jr. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is ! I think I should be in the
third-grade too !"

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Singh Jr. to the principal's office. While
Singh Jr. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
behave.
She agreed.

Singh Jr. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Singh Jr.: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Singh Jr.: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think
Singh Jr. can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?" The principal and Singh Jr. both agree.

Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of ?"

Singh Jr., after a moment "Legs."

Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have ?"

Singh Jr.: "Pockets."

Ms Neelam: "What does a dog do that a man steps into ?"

Singh Jr.: "Pants"

Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,

oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid ?

Singh Jr.: Coconut

Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And

sticky ? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could

stop the answer, Singh Jr. was taking charge.

Singh Jr.: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting

down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open

really wide and before he could stop the answer...

Singh Jr.: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay ?

Singh Jr.: Yep.

Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.

Singh Jr.: Tent

Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're

bored. The best man always has me first.The Principal was

looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Singh Jr.: Wedding Ring

Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you  blow
me, you feel good.

Singh Jr.: Nose

Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver.

Singh Jr.: Arrow

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot  of
heat and excitement ?

Singh Jr.: Firetruck

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it
u have to use ur hand.

Singh Jr.: Fork

Ms Neelam: What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the  same
as intercourse?

Singh Jr.: TALK

Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have, it's longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married ?

Singh Jr.: SURNAME

Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, likes pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Singh Jr.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

"Send Singh Jr. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself !"

[Don]

LOL...very funny never read before...superb...here is one from me this is also a great one hope you all enjoy it....

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.


The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke,"
and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.


A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be
$9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.


The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.


This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.


"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.
"Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."


Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"


"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp.
When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."


"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something,
but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"


"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.


The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"


The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs & a big ass who agrees with everything I say!!!!!!!!!"
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